Okay, so I know I've posted on this before. But that was two years ago, and none of you listened, so I feel perfectly justified in bringing this to your attention again! 

Closed on Account of Rabies is a wonderful collection of the poems and short tales of Edgar Allen Poe, read (and/or sung) by such august celebrities as Christopher Walken, Marianne Faithfull, Diamanda Galas, Gabriel Byrne, Deborah Harry, Dr. John, and others, this two-disc set is a must-have for anyone who wants a little something something horrifying in their CD player on the way to work. My absolute favorite is "The Black Cat," read by Diamanda Galas, followed by "The Raven," read by Christopher Walken, and "The Masque of the Red Death," ready by Gabriel Byrne. You can't go wrong with this. Listen to it, and you will be hooked! 

​Happy Hallloween! 
Chris Collins

In keeping with my promise to bring you more Halloween goodness, I wanted to hip you to this amazing artist's work. I found out about her from another writer friend who shares my love of all things spooky, and it positively made my day seeing these hand-crafted gems, made from various gourds in celebration of the most wonderful time of the year! I'd decorate my entire house with them if my wife would let me. And if I had a budget. Of any kind. 

Anyway, she's on all the social media. Click here for her blog, or just google Melissa Valeriote. Get this stuff! And then send some to me! 

​Chris

So, Friday was October 3rd, which, for those of you who are mathematically challenged, left 28 days until Halloween.  In an effort to be clever, AND get through my Halloween must-see movies, I decided to watch Danny Boyle's 28 Days Later.   Starring Cillian Murphy and Naomie Harris, this story is post-apocalyptic mayhem at its finest.  In it, Murphy's character, Jim, awakens from a coma, in a London hospital, only to find the entire city deserted...except for some very violent folks, who, as he learns, are infected by a virus that burns away all of their humanity, and leaves only rage and a tendency, as a character in another great zombie flick would say, to get "a little bitey."  

Understandably confused, Jim is fortunate enough to meet Selena, who not only helps save his life, but gives him the lowdown on what the world's been up to while he was sleeping.  They go on to find two other live people, Frank, and his teenaged daughter, Hannah, who accompany them on a journey to a city that might, just might  hold the key to their salvation...or their doom.

Here's the thing: it's a zombie movie.  You know how this works.  Live people gather together to defeat hordes of mindless, flesh-eating creatures that might, at one time, have been family, friends, husbands, or wives.  Where 28 Days outshines so much of the competition, is by concentrating on the human element, rather than simply grossing us out with the flesh chewing (worry not, though, my fellow horror buffs; there is plenty of that to go around), by the really clever device of having the main character wake up from a coma after the world has already gone to hell in a basket.  You really feel his confusion when he wakes up in a hospital, which is scary enough as it is, and finds the world so radically different than what it had been only an instant ago (in his memory).  You feel his shock at meeting the first infected, and his sorrow at finding his parents dead of suicide.  As you see him continue to have hope even with everything that has happened, you can't help but wonder how you would cope under those circumstances.  And that, to me, is its true brilliance.  It makes you go through it all on a personal level.  

This movie combines great storytelling, spot-on acting, and delicious scares to form one of the best horror movies out there.  So, as we draw ever closer to All Hallow's Eve, if you haven't seen this one...or, if you have seen it and, like me, want to fill the next week with the best of the best, make sure this one is in your queue to watch.  Just make sure the people around you are safe.  It only takes one drop, and then you're in trouble.  

Bonus points, by the way, for those who know what movie the "bitey" quote comes from.

Ciao,
Chris Collins

I don't get cable.  No biggie.  It  just means I'm usually behind on watching some shows people have been watching and raving about for ages.  Breaking Bad?  Haven't seen a single episode.  True Blood?  Ditto.  Don't even ask about Game of Thrones.  

The thing is: I actually don't mind being behind on some of these shows.  The great thing about getting a show on DVD or streaming it through Netflix or Vudu, or what have you, is that I don't have to wait after a cliff hanger for the next episode, or even the next season.  I get to take it all in at my leisure. 

Take American Horror Story, for instance.  I just finished the first season about a month or so ago, and loved it.  After a short break while I tended to other things, I have now, for the Scary Season, started watching season two: American Horror Story: Asylum.  This season centers around the doctors, patients and nuns in a mental institution called Briarcliff Manor.  Listen, there is a LOT going on in this series.  You've got your doctor who was a Nazi war criminal,  a nun who harbors a guilty secret, a patient who has apparently been abducted by aliens, a psychiatrist who isn't everything he appears to be, a possessed nun...I mean, I could go on and on.  

In fact, that's probably my biggest complaint about this season.  There are so many plot lines to follow, it's kind of...wait for it...crazy.  (See what I did there?  Not clever?  No? Well, sorry.  I liked it, I went for it.  You get what you pay for, guys, so bite me!)  That being said, I am enjoying this season, and would recommend it as we continue with the Halloween festivities.  The characters are interesting, the acting well-done, and it's really good story-telling, despite all the disparate plots vying for ascendancy.  If you haven't seen it, give it a shot.  The characters are completely different from season to season, so don't feel you have to start with the first season (although, that's what I would recommend, since it is a better story).  

So, off you go.  Grab an ice cold one, and the hand of your best girl or guy, and find out what you're really made of.  

Just remember: Insanity, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. 

Ciao,
Chris Collins

"Double, double, toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble...
...Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,
For a charm of pow'rful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."

The three witches in Shakespeare's Macbeth knew very well the recipe for a good scare.  But if you're fresh out of Eye of Newt, and prefer your pooch's tongue remain in its mouth, where it belongs, Professor Morte's Silver Scream Spookshow's your best bet for fun that won't cost you an arm and a leg...or any other appendages or organs!  

I blogged about this album last year, when I first became aware of it.  But it bears repeating: Your Halloween collection ain't complete without Professor Morte's Silver Scream Spookshow Presents Building the Perfect Monster.  This is a fun, fun, fun collection, reminiscent of the Halloween classic, The Mad Monster Party, with such likable tunes as "Bigfoot Mama," "Little Cousin Creepy," "The Mummy's Rag," and "Lon Chaney."  Trust me: if you're throwing a Halloween party, or simply want some mood music for the kiddies who come Trick-or-Treating at your door, Building the Perfect Monster is the perfect CD for you!  

And just so's you know: Professor Morte's Silver Scream Spookshow is apparently going to be performing at the World Horror Convention in May of 2015!  Go here, for details.

That's it, for now.  

Keep looking over your shoulder, though.  

Halloween is coming.  

And you never know what's coming with it.




Ciao,

Chris

It is September 8th, and Halloween creeps ever closer, unfurling leathery, bat-like wings as it approaches, stretching out one bony, talon-tipped claw to clutch at your shoulder in invitation.  Or to rip out your throat, if that is what is on its mind.   

Don't bother turning around.  It won't be there.  

Because it's not your time. Not yet.  

When the time does come, there will be tricks, and there will be treats.  You know the rules to avoid the tricks: Stay out of graveyards at night.  Always keep your crucifix handy.  Ditto wooden stakes, bulbs of garlic, and silver.  (Plenty of silver.  Bullets if available.  But anything will do.)  

Behead anything you kill...lest it return from the dead.  

Vampires can only reach you if you invite them in.  Or if you look them in the eye.

But there are treats, too, for those whose tastes run to the macabre.  For instance, there are these stories, read by some well-known artists, actors, and singers.  Closed on Account of Rabies: Tales of Edgar Allen Poe, is a two-disc collection of some of Poe's most celebrated works, including "The Raven," "The Tell-Tale Heart," and "The Masque of the Red Death,"  just to name a few.  

Some of the performances are amazing.  "The Black Cat," for instance (my favorite) is one of those.  It's read by Diamanda Galas, an absolutely brilliant voice actor.  I'm also fond of Ken Nordine's recitation of "The Conqueror Worm," and Gabriel Byrne's reading of "The Masque of the Red Death."  Christopher Walken reading "The Raven" is an inspired choice ("So softly, you came rapping at my chambuh doah").  And Iggy Pop manages to pull off "The Tell-Tale Heart," just fine.  

Some of the other performances are...uh...well, just listen to Debbie Harry perform "The City and the Sea," or Ed Sanders perform "The Haunted Palace," and see what you think.  Maybe it's just me.  

Still, as a whole, I just love this anthology.  Dr. John does "Berenice?" Really?   Yes, he does.  And it's pretty good.  

The point is, whether you're looking for something creepy, something scary, or something fun for Halloween, you really can't go wrong with "Closed on Account of Rabies..."  

It's a real treat.  So go on, give it a shot.  It won't hurt you.  You may even like it.

But keep the lights on.  And if a stranger comes to your door and asks you to invite him or her in, say "No."

It's a trick.

Ciao,
Chris Collins

Well, the Halloween Season is upon us.  As I mentioned in a previous blog, I LOVE me some Halloween.  Always have.  In fact, at one point, I was so determined to wring every last drop I could out of the season, that I decided to begin celebrating a full month earlier!  Watching my favorite scary movies, reading all things horror, even putting out my Halloween decorations, all so I didn't end October wondering how I'd missed so much.  

In my previous blog, I promised to feature something Halloween-ish once a week.  Nothing major, just a movie I'd watched, a book I'd read, a message I'd been given on my Ouija board from a disembodied spirit.  You know, the usual.  I'd meant to begin that this coming weekend, but decided, "Why wait?"  So, I'm kicking off the Season of the Witch strong, with a fun remake of a horror classic.

I deliberated at length, whether to start Halloween with something light, like "The Frighteners, starring Michael J. Fox, or go full-on, balls-to-the-wall terrifying with something like "The Exorcist," or "Halloween."  Eventually, I settled on something in between.  What I ended up watch is "House on Haunted Hill." 

This remake of the cult classic starring the late, great Vincent Price, stars Geoffrey Rush and Famke Janssen as a twisted couple hosting a birthday party at an abandoned institute for the criminally insane.  Five strangers, played by Taye Diggs, Ali Larter, Bridgette Wilson, Peter Gallagher and Chris Kattan are the party-goers, who stand to win $1 million each: if they can survive the night.  But the hosts' sick games and growing paranoia among the group of party-goers is nothing compared to a house that's haunted by the ghosts of the psychotically insane former residents.  

The "House on Haunted Hill" remake is a fun movie.  It's got the usual sudden scares and creaky doors you'd expect.  Plus, it's got a bit of humor (Chris Kattan is pretty funny as a descendant of the man who originally ran the institute - a man who just missed being an inmate himself by that much!).  And there are some genuinely creepy moments, as well.  It's no "The Exorcist," or "The Ring," but it's a solid enough Halloween movie to kick off the Howling Season with.  So if you're looking for something with a few laughs as well as a few scares, you just might like this one.  

By the way, I do have the original movie, and I will likely be watching it soon.  Do though likewise.  It's good stuff. 

Peace out,
Chris