So, I just recently finished reading The Witches' Kitchen, by Allen Williams.  Allen is a ridiculously gifted artist I'd been following on Instagram for months (I_justdraw, if you're interested in seeing his work. You should, IMHO). Anyway, I stumbled onto his booth at Dragon Con, and only knew it was him because I recognized a couple of pictures he had hanging there.  After politely gushing over his work, I happened to notice that he had a book on his table. I picked it up, read the inside flaps of the dust jacket, and read that some of his inspirations for this book  were: "...a near-phobic childhood fear of the dark; his training to become a second-degree black belt in Shotokan karate; and a cabinet of curiosities containing a variety of bird and animal skeletons and a box of assorted bones of mysterious origin." 

Whuuuuuuuuuuut....?

After reading that, I couldn't not buy his book.  And the book delivers, I'll tell ya that much! I don't want to tell you too much about it. Only that the main character is a toad, who doesn't know who she is, or why she's in the predicament that she's in. And, oh, yeah, there are two witches of the extremely wicked kind who want her dead in the worst way.  She finds herself lost in the witches' kitchen, which is as vast as it is dark, and filled with all manner of danger - and her not knowing friend from foe.  Basically, if you took parts of Beauty and the Beast, and Alice in Wonderland, and had Clive Barker, Neil Gaiman, and Tim Burton craft it into their own tale, you might end up with something like this.  

What really intrigued me was the way in which some seemingly unconnected things in Williams' formative years formed the base of such an interesting story.  I could really see each of those inspirations at work in this novel, and it's made me think harder on things in my own childhood that have landed in my work, whether I was aware of it or not. For instance, in my novel THE RAGGEDY MAN, the turnoff to Grace's home is based on the one to my paternal grandmother's home in Florida.  My memories of going to visit her with my dad, not only informed the scene, but Grace's very personality.  The thing with the woman on the inflatable raft? It happened.  But what other thoughts, beliefs, quirks, etc., may have found their way into my writing, that I may not even have been aware of? I believe that just as the reader views a work through his or her own filter, coloring how it is received, so, too, do our own experiences color how our characters see the world we've created, and, indeed, how that very world exists in our mind and on the page. 

Take some time to look back at your writing. See if there are any recurring themes appearing that you may be working through that you perhaps, weren't even aware of.  I'll bet you'll find at least a few things ripe for exploring in a new work.  Bet that'll make a good book.

Peace,
Chris 

Okay, so.  This past weekend was all about Dragon Con.  I love to see the proud geeks and dorks (myself, included), who have waited a whole year to be able to be at the biggest comic convention in the southeast, going gaga over whatever floats their little geek boat, dressed in costumes that range from amazing to startling to slightly disturbing.  But it's not all about the pageantry, for me. You may not be aware of this, but there are a whole slew of "tracks" that are available, in the form of panels that you can attend.  They range from comics panels, to actor/actress, to martial arts and skeptics panels.  

I attended panels on the writer's track (yep, it's a thing).  Writers like Kevin J. Anderson, Sherilyn Kenyon, David B. Coe, Janny Wurtz, and other writers you may recognize, speak about their experiences, give advice, and answer questions from us nobodies, who want to be somebodies (cue Marilyn Manson).  

Most of the panels I attended were on marketing/PR (there is a blurry but definable difference: Marketing is designed to get people/companies interested in buying your product, and typically involves buying ads, materials, designing attractive book covers, etc., while Public Relations is generally about communication designed to promote your brand. That's interviews, managing a website/blog, networking, getting beta readers to review your book, stuff like that.  This is overly-simplistic - it's all about getting people to buy what you're selling - and as I said, the line blurs on the two.  But I think you get the picture), and I learned a few things.  Here are a few things you might find useful.  

First thing: If you don't have a website, get one. This falls under the heading of "Don't expect your publisher (if you have one) to do much (or any) of the marketing for you.  In fact, they typically expect you to have a sales "platform" which includes a website for you to sell yourself, and your product on.  Don't make that site the product (i.e., your book).  Because, unless you plan on being a one-hit wonder, you're going to write more books, and then you're faced with either completely overhauling your current website, or creating a new one. (Can you imagine if Stephen King or James Patterson had a different website for every book they'd written???) On that website, you want to have, in addition to your longer bio,  a short one that, say, Barnes & Noble, or your local cafe, or a podcast, can lift and share, if you do an interview or a book signing.  For that same reason, you want to have a picture of yourself, and of your book(s), and the links to all of your social media.  Look around my site.  You'll see I've included that stuff on my home page.  

Your website/blog should not be a constant hammering about your book(s) either. In this age of social media, where people post the most intimate details of their lives on a daily basis, people want to be invested in you, not just your product.  If you get them to care about you, they will be more likely to have a vested interested in your success.  Yes, as writers, we tend to be introverted, and grit our teeth at the time taken away from writing to actually talk to people.  But think about it. What are YOU more likely to respond to: people who spam you with "Buy my book, buy my book!" or someone who's got the same interests and personality as you, whose posts you look forward to reading, because they make you think, or laugh, or whatever, who then says, "Hey, by the way, my book is coming out. It's about (whatever). You should give it a try? 

The last thing I'll share, is about managing social media.  First off: you do NOT have to have a presence on every freaking platform that exists.  But you should have a presence on at least one. Pick the one that you like the most.  The panel members I heard speaking all seemed to agree on Instagram and Twitter (in that order) as their favorites.  They also happen to be mine.  But they also emphasized that whatever your favorite is, is what you should use.  If you feel like the platform you're using is painful, it will come off that way. At the very least, it will seem insincere, and more "spammy." And you can use social media manager apps like hootsuite to help you keep from going crazy. 

Also, use lots of hashtags on those platforms.  It's how people who may have no idea who you are, may be able to find your work. Let's say there are groups of flying saucer enthusiasts, or sci-fi writers, or whatever, who all post pictures and other interesting things to the hashtag #flyingsaucers.  And let's further say that you write a book about flying saucers, and write a post about that book that includes #flyingsaucers? Well, guess what? Your post - and the posts of ALL the people who have used that hashtag, will appear together.  You're now linked to them.  And all of those people will now be able to see your post about your book about a subject that they are passionate about.  And anyone not of those groups, who happens to come across one post, then clicks on the hashtag, will suddenly be able to see all of those posts, including yours. See the possibilities? I tested it today: I posted something about my novel on Instagram to #bookstagram, and various horror hashtags.  And no longer than 5 minutes passed after I hit post, that someone from France, England, and at least one book group, had liked my post, and/or followed me.  Those are people who never would have otherwise known the first thing about me, who will now get my posts, and, if I peak their interest enough, may decide to buy my book. 

These are just a few  things that you can be doing better to make yourself more visible to potential fans, and more likely to reel them in.  Again, as writers, I know the first instinct is to shun anything that isn't about the actual process of writing.  But if you want to do this for a living, then you'd better start treating this like the business that it is.  Suck it up, and do it! Small steps like these can mean the difference between a successful career, and a failed one!
​
Peace,
Chris

So, maybe a week ago, I was watching TV, not really paying attention, just letting the sounds fill the silence as I flipped through unopened mail, trying to decide which ones looked serious enough to demand my attention right then.  I am not even entirely sure what show was playing (although "One Strange Rock" is sticking out in my mind, for some reason), only that there was some science-y-type stuff going on (which I love; PBS is one of my favorite stations, for that reason).  

Anyway, I tuned in for just a moment, long enough to hear something about dire wolves and sabre-toothed cats living in the same era in Earth's history.  My whole soul froze at that moment. Wait, I thought.  What, now? 

Yeah, dire wolves. Marinate on that for a second.  I don't read a TON of fantasy, but I've read enough that contains these beasts to know about them, and to think they're pretty cool.  And to find out that they actually existed? Whoah! Now, it's entirely possible that I am the last person on Earth who didn't know about them, so maybe this "revelation" is all in my head.  And that's okay.  The point is, my world expanded just with that few minutes of learning.  It made me appreciate both their roles in fiction, and the writers who used them.  

No real lesson here, other than that dire wolves are lit AF (and can you imagine the dog and cat fight between a dire wolf and a sabre-tooth?). And that the truth is an invaluable tool in creating fiction.  

Hell, most of the work has already been done for you! Now, go. Learn some stuff.  Then write about it.  

​It might make you famous. 

Later people!

Chris

 One of my very best friends and I occasionally get into a discussion about the kind of horror movies we like.  She favors the slasher flick over the supernatural.  In her opinion, a guy with a knife (or a machete, or chainsaw, or...you get the picture) is a lot scarier than any ghost going bump in the night.  "That's reality," she would say.  "That could actually happen." 

I, on the other hand, have always been fascinated by the other-worldly.  And since I was raised in the church, I am pretty much hardwired to have a healthy respect of the supernatural.  If a guy comes at me with a knife, it's either him or me, loser buys the farm.  That's scary, but it's not, you know...scary.  On the other hand, when the walls start bleeding, and objects begin to move by themselves, and you suddenly feel a soft, feather-light touch on the back of your neck, when you're alone, that's what gives me the heebie-jeebies! I mean, what the crap do you do about that?  What can you do?  Most of us don't have a priest on speed dial.

That's just preference.  But don't get it twisted.  I can watch any number of slasher flicks with great pleasure.  I love Halloween, Friday the 13th, and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and a bunch more.  I watch them every year during the Howling Season (coming soon, my friends).  And my friend is quite happy to watch a well-done supernatural horror movie. We just have different ideas of what truly creeps us out.  

That's only one level, though.  The kind of horror is only one part of the fear equation.  After all, I've seen supernatural horror movies that made me laugh my ass off, while few movies are as terrifying as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, or, say, Hostel.  There has to be something beyond the well-known tropes of  horror that compels you to read or watch (and me to write) horror, of whatever stripe you're into.  What is that?

On my homepage, I give the definition of the word 'harrow': "To disturb keenly or painfully...To cause intense fear or dread." As in any genre, you manipulate the readers' emotions by holding a mirror to their faces, and showing them the things they already know, deep down in their hearts.  In horror, that mirror shows a dark reflection of mankind's deepest fears, the old, atavistic terrors that haunt us in the hours before dawn, and the superstitions and dreads that remind us how small and vulnerable we are.  Think about how you would feel if you turned and saw a message written in blood on the wall that hadn't been there before.  How would you feel walking alone on a sidewalk at night, and hearing a set of echoing footsteps behind you, stealthily keeping pace.  The uncertainty, turning to fear, becoming outright terror, maybe mixed with awe, or a sense of hopelessness.  And what kind of terror? Terror of losing one's life, one's sanity, or even one's soul.  Terror of losing one's family.  How might those things manifest themselves?  How do they change the atmosphere?  And how do they affect thoughts, words, and actions?  

These are some of the things I like to consider when I'm writing.  Because the silent, hulking giant holding the knife, and the creaking door on a moonless, windless night, are only part of the story.  You've got to get the reader on that sidewalk or in that dark room, feeling the tingle as it works its way up the spine.  You do that by getting the reader inside the character's head.  By showing what the character notices through his senses--feeling the bite of a cold wind, or the muffled thump of a footfall in another room--or her reaction to what she is sensing; the character swallows nervously, sweats with fear as she imagines the face of the man behind her, imagines his hand falling on her shoulder.  
​
Use descriptive sensual imagery, internal thoughts and perceptions, and physical responses to create an atmosphere of dread in your story.  With those tools, you're sure to have your readers sleeping with the lights on!

Until next time.

Peace,
Chris

Well, it's been a year since THE RAGGEDY MAN was published by Bloodshot Books (the actual date of publication was June 4th, if you want to be exact. I don't, but, hey, you do you).   A lot has happened since then, not the least of which, was the passing of my wife, a little over a month ago.  The last two years of her life were particularly difficult, and that, as you can imagine, has made the time since the book was published, bittersweet.  Nevertheless, my dreams of becoming a published author were realized.  I became wealthy overnight, and famous beyond all my wildest dreams. And...

And only the first thing happened.  Sorry.  After one year on the market, my first lesson to the would be author is this: if you're in this for the fame and fortune, I beg you, get out.  Do something - do anything - else.  This ain't that kinda party, brah.  You do this because you love it.  You do this because, to not do it is to deny your very nature, your reason for being on this planet.  And if you're not doing what you're meant to do, well, then, what's the freaking point?  

Sure, you could be one of the fortunate few: the next King, the next Patterson, the next Rowling; one book sold, and suddenly you're a household name, your books printed in the thousands - the millions - in almost every major language known to man.  But for most of us writing remains a labor of love (sometimes unrequited), even with several books under our belt.    Some of us never get more than one or two books published.  And evern for those who achieve more, writing remains a passion that at most, provides supplemental income to our 9-5 job.  So, if you put down your law book, or medical notes to pick up a pen in order to obtain riches, you should know now that you chose poorly.  

Okay.  If you haven't thrown down your pen, your pencil, or (oh, I hope not) your laptop, and gone back to your law books or medical notes, then I guess you won't be dissuaded.  You're in it for the long haul - more fool, you.  And for you, here is how it's been for me, and likely, how it will be for you:

In the past year, I haven't gotten rich or famous.  Agents and publishers have not come crawling out of the woodwork to offer me multi-book deals, and not a single supermodel has thrown herself at my feet (though there is a slight possibility that one or two have filed a restraining order, a slight misunderstanding that will all be worked out to everyone's satisfaction, I am sure).  But what I have had is one co-worker whose son has vowed to buy anything I write.  I've had the son of an editor praise my writing, and wonder when my next book will come out.  Another person who said that she couldn't stop turning pages.  I've had several people voice their pleasure - and displeasure - at the fate of a main character, and one pal, who has pretty much demanded that another character be given a book of his own.  (His wife has threatened to send the ASPCA to my house for one scene with some animals.)  To many of you, that will sound like small potatoes, and you'll wonder what the hell the point of it all was.  The thing is, that actually IS the point, and if you can't see that, then I urge you to reconsider your law or medical degree.  

See, that's the real coin of the realm for me, and, I suspect, many other writers. I remember what it was like reading Stephen King's Carrie, for the first time.  Robert McGammon's Swan Song,  William Peter Blatty's The Exorcist.  That delicious thrill of fear that demands you stop reading, even as it forces you to turn the page to find out what happens next.  The idea that something I have written could excite that in someone reading my work - hell, of creating that for myself - is like an addict anticipating that next hit.  And so I write.  

Okay, so, I'm running long on this one.  But I'm not done yet.  I've got a few more thoughts on the things I've learned in the last year.  I'd love to hear from others who have done so, or wish to, who would like to share their experiences.  

Till then....

Peace,
Chris

The other day, I got into a discussion with a couple of co-workers that somehow got onto reading, and then, the future of printed books. "Physical books," one person said, "are going away. You'll only be able to read them electronically." She said it as a thing already done, and only the timing in question. Another woman in the conversation nodded agreement, her grave features suggesting that anything might happen to civilization after all the books have gone. 

It's an old prediction going back to the roll out of e-readers, and it's  a compelling one, I suppose. E-readers can hold an entire library of books stored on the device itself, or in"the cloud." They are convenient, and easy to use, and have some advantages that physical books don't. E-books don't lose their bindings, or have pages to rip, or fade with time. And, more importantly, if you're like me, and like to have a variety of books on long trips, vacations, or just in case your mood changes or you finish one before you get home, the number of choices in the palm of your hand are limited only to the number of books stored in your "library. Most readers even have a backlight effect so you can read at night in the dark." 

With all that going for them, it's easy to see why some people feel there's no longer any need for hardcover or paperback books. But disappear? Nah...I don't think so. Having a new way to do something does not always mean "sundowning" the old way. Television didn't replace movies, after all, and even vinyl records are making a comeback. There's just something about the feel of a book in your hands, the weight of it, even the smell of it, that no e-reader or book can replace. I love sitting in my workspace and being able to look over at bookcases overflowing with well-read volumes. Just seeing the title on the spine of some of these often brings back the pleasure of the first time I read them. Call it romanticism if you will, (or nostalgia, I guess, if you're one of those who've moved on from physical books) but there is an intimacy with physical books that you just can't get with e-readers.

Now, don't get it twisted. I am no Luddite, even when it comes to my reading preference. I have a Kindle app, and I like it just fine, thank you very much. I've got a whole list of books stored in it, some of which I've read, and some of which I am very much looking forward to reading. But...books, though. 

Still, I do acknowledge that there is a shift in the publishing paradigm. Physical books will never go away, IMHO, but if you're a writer, you'd better pay attention to that shift. With many publishers, especially magazines, more interested in publishing electronically than with getting into brick-and-mortar stores, or, at least equally, you would do well to familiarize yourself with the legal definition, industry standard rates for royalties, and even the different forms of contractual language involved with electronic rights (they may not be specifically called "electronic rights;" The contract could just refer to "any and all media and formats," or some such), and acceptable contract terms for same,  or you may end up wishing you'd paid more attention to the fine print. 

Ciao,
Chris

Well, then. I've made no secret of the fact that I've been in the weeds this past year. As the old nugget goes, and as I am sure many of you can attest: ​"Life is what happens while you're busy making plans." (a less cynical version of another old nugget which posits that feces doth occur-and usually at the worst possible moment) No need to go into detail: that's not the point of this piece. The point is that feces is always going to occur; but that doesn't mean that the things that matter should just be allowed to wither away like a seed in too-shallow ground, burning away in the sun. 

For me (and hopefully, if you're reading this, for you) one of those things is writing. In order to continue to write, I have had to change my approach to it. Before, I always felt like I had to write on my laptop; writing longhand, it seemed like I couldn't keep up with my thoughts. But then, I found myself unable to get to my computer.  And when I could get to my computer, I often found myself responding to social media messages and the like, more than I was working.  So I went old school. I dug out an old leather organizer with a 3-ring binder section for notebook paper, and an area that allowed a college-ruled note pad. . I got a pack of #2 pencils, sharpened to a needle point. And I got to work.

And guess what? It worked! 

I have been making steady progress on re-writes of my second novel, plus a novella, that I've been working on in fits and starts for quite a while. Sometimes, I do find myself frustrated that I can't seem to write as quickly as I think. But there are benefits. The first, and most obvious being that I am not bound by time or location. As long as I've got my writing pad and a pencil or pen, I can write. I can write during TV commercials, during breaks at work, or in hospital rooms, while I'm sitting around, not really doing much of anything. Another benefit, is the lack of many of the dangerous time-sucks clamoring for attention on electronic devices, like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. Put Pandora on on my Firestick, break out my writing pad, and I am absolutely golden. 

All of which is to say that if you find you are spending more of your writing time screwing around than producing content-or worse, not writing  at all, because feces keeps occurring during writing time, or even because you just need to switch things up, get yourself out of a rut, you may need to consider taking another approach. Yeah...some people may be offended that you haven't responded to their FB posts of that cute-AF cat doing that thing that makes you go "Awwwwww...," but you may just find your writing life has become much more fulfilling. 

Now, go on. Get outta here and get to work. Those words ain't gonna write themselves. 

Ciao,
Chris

Well...2017 has certainly been something. I got a novel published. That's pretty cool. A bunch of other things have happened that are not quite so cool. But it's all part of the cycle of life. As Remo Williams would say: That's the biz, sweetheart. 

But it's 2018, now. And I'm trying to build off the successes that I have fought for, and brush off the dust of my failures, in order to move ahead and achieve more success. As I look back on my literary journey in 2017, I have come up with 4 New Year's Resolutions for 2018. Here they are.

I resolve to:

1. Show and not tell. My most recent post is all about the tendency, especially of new writers, to give a list of events in a story, rather than show, through  a description of characters' thoughts, actions, reactions, etc. I'm going to stop telling you what "Bob" felt, and show you by the way he licks his lips and averts his eyes when he's lying, or the way his left hand twitches when he's on the verge of violence, or he grins sheepishly when confronted with the empty bag of Fritos lying half out of the overflowing garbage can. 

2. Give passive voice a pass. Nothing washes out your prose more than passive voice. It's Show, not tell's ugly little sister. Never "The car was stolen by Bob," when you can "Bob stole the car." Unless you're a journalist, that's just plain wrong.

3. Phase adverbs out of my writing. Gently. Look, if you've been writing for any length of time, you know that adverbs are to writing as food after midnight is to gremlins. They're just going to wreck your stuff. That being said, there are exceptions to every rule, particularly the one that says never to use adverbs. My advice? As with everything else in life: "All things in moderation."

4. Write more. The bottom line of this resolution is ass in seat. No matter how good a writer you are, if you aren't putting in work, you might as well invest your time in a more profitable hobby. Like day trading. Life gets in the way, sometimes. Happens to me. It's going to happen to you. The only thing you can do is try to make use of the moments you have. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices. TV. Parties. Sleep. Do what you gotta do, man. 

Just get it done.  And, oh, yeah...Happy New Year!

Peace,
Chris

So, a couple months ago, my writing group critique mates were kind enough to read a portion of my second WIP, tentatively titled THE COMING DARKNESS. As always, they were insightful, thorough, and kind, even when telling me something wasn't working for them. One of those things involved a couple of spots in the narration where one of the main characters was feeling something, or performing an action, where I described said thought or deed, rather than showing. 

The distinction may be challenging for the new writer to understand (and even published writers have to keep a wary eye out for it). But if you want writing that gets inside the reader and keeps them turning pages long after bedtime, it's one you'd better learn. And what is the difference? 

Consider the following sentence: He grew furious. 

I gave you a fact. Something happened, and  a character grew furious. I told. Which is fine, and sometimes, it's necessary. But now, consider this passage: John glared at his cowering brother, teeth clenched, his expression a thunderhead of rage. Without moving a muscle, he seemed at once to become larger and more compact, his muscular frame poised on the verge of unleashing violence. 

Okay, not great, maybe. But I hope this illustrates the difference between telling someone how a character feels and showing, through the character's thoughts and actions. One is factual and dull. The other is visceral and evocative, forming a connection between the reader and the character, even if the character isn't a likable one. It gets the reader in the moment, allowing him or her not only to visualize, but to feel the action as it takes place. I didn't just tell you he was furious, I made you get right in there and see it!

Now try this one: He was an ugly man. 

Versus: The girl behind the counter glanced up at him and recoiled slightly, her smile nearly collapsing into the grimace of distaste he could see trying to replace it; it was a look he'd gotten nearly every day his entire life, and it no longer bothered him. Well, not so much. Not most days. 

Again, the first example is mere exposition. It states a detail about a character. But the second example paints a much more vivid picture by showing the reaction of others to the character, as well as giving some insight into the character's mindset regarding his own ugliness. It is a thing he is aware of, and to a certain degree, accepts. 

Sometimes, the difference between telling and showing is as simple as choosing a stronger verb or verb phrase: He sat, impatiently vs. He threw himself into the chair and waited, one knee bouncing up and down like a jackhammer. Or She walked in the door, vs She glided into the room, She stormed in, She slunk in. (See how changing the verb  gives you a different image of her walking in? Hence, the power of showing!)

Anyway, you get the picture. 

Again, exposition can be a fine and useful, even necessary thing. But when you combine images, strong verbs, good dialogue, and specific visual details of characters acting, reacting, or interacting, you help the reader move past the intellect to that place where dreams are real and anything can happen. It's called the willing suspension of disbelief, and it is your job, as the writer, to lay straight the path there. So, before you consider your masterpiece well and truly done, do yourself a favor and go back through it one more time. Look for some areas where you can show us the action rather than telling. I promise you, any potential publisher will be sensitive to it. Because they know that if they can't "see" it, neither will the readers. 

Peace,
Chris

So I'm taking a break from working on book #2 to (try to) work on a short story for the Fall Fiction Contest, to be judged by Brian Evenson. It's a max of 7000 words, and the winning story earns a $2000 prize. Some writers would give a limb to make that off their writing in a given year. 

I heard about the contest late (last Tuesday; it ends 11/15), and I've been taking care of the wife after a fall resulting in injury, so who knows whether I'll be able to pull off a story I think is good enough to submit. But as the Lottery motto tells us: You can't win if you don't play. Payout aside, this contest also serves another purpose for me. I don't tend to suffer from writer's block. But I sometimes get burnt out on a subject. And when that happens, it's good to step away and focus on something else for a while, then come back with a fresh perspective. Not saying that's happened with my current WIP (work in progress, for the uninitiated) - I've recently come up with a few things I think are going to make the story much stronger, and I'm excited to get those things done. But I don't mind the break. 

Also, if you're between stories, and you're looking for something new to write, it's not a bad idea to look for contests such as this, or even just search magazine websites for open calls. They are often looking for specific types of stories, which may challenge you in a way you hadn't considered before. Never written a steampunk vampire western before, and magazine ABC wants you to send in your best? Well, think about taking on the challenge. Even if you don't like the result, or if the magazine doesn't, you will have broadened your horizon a bit, and possibly planted the seed of a future story somewhere in your subconscious. 

Well, that's all I've got time for today. The 15th is fast approaching, and I've got write a freaking masterpiece of a story before then. Wish me luck! 

Peace,
​Chris